In which our scholarly host takes another look
into the Orwellian world that is the Leftese Dictionary.
Transcript:
The left wing dictionary (Volume two)
I’m Andrew Klavan and this is the Revolting
Truth.
Huzzah.
And also Hip-Hooray. It’s time
for another installment of the Leftese Dictionary. A dictionary of left-wing phraseology is a
very important tool now that very important tools are actually running the
country. We stodgy conservatives are
mired in the old-fashioned practice of using language to convey thoughts and
ideas, but zippy, forward-looking, youth-oriented leftists use words that
aren’t weighed down by things like “meaning,” or “sense.” They just wiggle their fingers in the air
like this so that when they drive the country into the crapper they can say it
wasn’t their “fault.”
But with careful use of the leftese dictionary,
you should soon be able to put together complex leftist sentences such as “In a
country like this, everyone should have free health care,” or “Greedy
corporations are causing global warming,” or “I want to make the world a better
place.” I know, right now, that just sounds like words being strung randomly
together in dithering blasts of absolute nonsense, but soon you’ll understand
these are ways of expressing important ideas like, “I’m a better person than
you,” or “Give me more power.”
But hold on!
Before we can advance to such intricate use of leftese, we have to begin
with some simple definitions.
Let’s start with the word “Progressive.” Progressive is a term used to refer to things
like cancer or emphysema or leftism — or indeed anything that slowly destroys
whatever it touches. In political
history, the term progressive replaced the term liberal when people realized
liberalism didn’t work. Liberal had
replaced the term leftist when leftism didn’t work. And leftist had replaced the term socialist
when socialism didn’t work. Socialist,
of course, had replaced the term progressive.
Used as a noun, a Progressive is someone who
believes that mankind progresses and becomes more civilized over time. Examples
of progress can be found throughout history. For instance, the Roman Empire was
militaristic and imperialistic but humanity finally progressed beyond it into a
thousand years of darkness and savagery.
Or there was the Victorian era of sexual repression and racial
chauvinism until we finally progressed into the glorious mass slaughter of
World Wars, Holocaust and Communism. And
then we got the iPhone so... you just
have to be patient.
The idea of progress is built into another left
wing phrase, “the 21st Century.” In
leftese, the 21st century means a magical place of peace and enlightenment. The
phrase is found in such leftese sentences as “Putin can’t just conquer Crimea,
this is the 21st century,” or “No religion wants to behead non-believers and
enslave women anymore. This is the 21st
century.” When this wonderful 21st
century will actually occur is anyone’s guess.
Probably not for hundreds of years. In the meantime, the phrase can be
usefully employed instead of taking meaningful action.
But if progress doesn’t come and the 21st
century turns out not to be the 21st century, a leftist can always respond by
being “smart.” For instance, as secretary of state, Hillary Clinton used “smart
power” to transform Libya from an oppressive dictatorship to a blood-soaked
hellhole. President Obama used “smart
diplomacy” to change Iraq from a shaky democracy to a bloodsoaked
hellhole. In leftese, the word “smart,”
means ineffectual, or unrealistic. Or
stupid.
Or progressive.
This is Andrew Klavan with the Revolting Truth.
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