BabylonBee.com
U.S.—Scientists have discovered mounting evidence that critical race theory escaped from a lab in a college humanities department some decades ago. Originally thought to be a deranged conspiracy theory, the idea that CRT escaped from a liberal arts program is now accepted as mainstream consensus.
"While many believed the
deadly CRT virus arose naturally out of centuries of systemic oppression, it
now appears to have been manmade," said Dr. Xander Willow of Hillsdale
College. "It looks like some good-for-nothing liberal arts majors were
messing around with some old law textbooks and experimenting with applying
critical race theory to all of life. As we can see, their gain-of-racism
research had terrible results."
While researchers could not
trace the virus all the way back to patient zero, scientific evidence indicates
the first carrier of CRT was "almost certainly a white woman with purple
hair who screamed a lot." "Yeah, her name was probably Chloe or Claire.
Or maybe Karen. It's hard to tell based on the evidence we have, but genetics
indicates this virus definitely evolved from a woman afflicted by white
guilt."
"Her actions in
developing and releasing this virus on the population may prove to be deadlier
than any other virus yet."
To fight CRT, experts are
recommending loving your neighbor no matter what their skin color is, seeing a
person instead of a race, and reading your Bible. Also, hydroxychloroquine.
BabylonBee.com,
July 2nd, 2021
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